


No Words Needed

by SilvusBlack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvusBlack/pseuds/SilvusBlack
Summary: Amelia Holmes never thought that she was made for love.Sirius Black was a rebel, friend of his friends and a bad boy from start to finish.Their lives entangled and treason ripped them apart. Now she is a teacher of History of Magic at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She lives among friends, but her life is far from being perfect. The ghosts from the past are always close and never truly leave us.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is something I started at Wattpad many years ago (with another name). Now I am translating it from Spanish to English, and I will try to finish it (I am a bit rusty so forgive me if there's anything wrong).  
> Hope you like it!!❤️

"I’ve always wanted to marry…"  
"That’s a very direct statement, don’t you think?"  
"You are very fast at catching them huh?"  
"It is my specialty, princess… I love you…"  
"I love you too."

I woke up in my bed, in my soft grey stone room. There were they, my old mahogany furniture and my bright blue curtains. The fire of the chimney was gone, and I felt that tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t know where to go or whom to speak with. I was alone, as always.

  
…

  
"Already morning, another happy morning!" I started to say, trying to believe my own words (without any success) "Where are my damn glasses?" I said while searching the room, until a beam touched my eyelids.

"It’s beautiful… I always forget how stupid I am." The stone window showed a magnificent view of the lake at sunrise: reds, oranges, yellows and pinks all mixed up creating a beautiful painting. At the distance, the tall trees from the Forbidden Forest were changing colours, and some leaves started to fall, making the painting created in the lake even more incredibly beautiful.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I quickly grabbed my black dressing gown, always soft, my favourite one, it reminded me of him...

"Good morning Amelia." A tall, thin man, with greasy, long black hair stood before me. He had tired eyes, but I could see a hint of curiosity in them.  
"Good morning Severus, lack of sleep?"  
"Yes, I do not get enough sleep lately."  
"Why is that? -- I put on my round glasses, making my green eyes sparkle."  
"With all this new “help” around the castle, it is difficult to be at ease. Furthermore, my past is troublesome and I dread any mistake that could put me in danger." Said Snape, looking down, no in fear, but in regret.  
"You should not worry about them, you are a good person. Dumbledore trusts you, I trust you." Such horrible creatures, the Dementors. They can eat your happiness and leave you dry. No more happy thoughts, just despair. **Better to stay away from them.**  
"Thank you Amelia. Time for breakfast. Do not be late or Hagrid will eat all the pancakes." He seemed more distant, even if that's possible.  
"Please, put some of them on the side for me." I begged with puppy eyes.  
"I promise nothing… but I will try."  
"Thank you, you are the best! I will be down in five." I started to take off my clothes, but the door was still open and Severus was still there, cheecks flushed. He closed the door very quietly and left, thinking that I forgot that he was there. I didn’t. I liked to tease him.

I looked for something to wear, a long dress perhaps. I decided to wear a green one with my black cape. It matched perfectly with my black heels and some tights. I left my auburn hair on the loose, just the way I liked it: long, natural and put to the side. I started to look for my books for the day and for my wand when a sudden noise made me jump.

Oh dear Merlin! It was just the morning owls with the paper… Now that I think about it, it has been long since I’ve found one to read while eating breakfast…" It was true, it felt like the world didn’t want to give me a newspaper. It felt like it wanted me to be isolated from the outside world.

Going down the tower in which my bedroom was located, I started to hear the sounds of students rushing to eat breakfast, to which I smiled. At the Great Hall I saw Hagrid carrying all the newspapers. He was a big guy, but all those papers were obviously a lot, even for him.

"Hagrid! Wait! Can I have one please?" I shouted from the other side of the room, but I found no answer, only doubt and sweat from Hagrid’s face. He started to run and I chased him. "No way!" **_Accio newspaper!_** \-- A paper from the pile came to me in a rush while I grinned in triumph.  
"No! Amelia, wait!" -- I heard Severus, he was looking at me, pale. I also saw Dumbledore, standing up from the table, slowly, looking at me, with only sadness in his eyes.

There was something inside of me telling me that once I looked at the paper, there was no turning back. Acting by pure instinct, I looked anyways. Suddenly, I felt dizzy and confused, sad and angry, tired and afraid, all at once. I was speechless. There were only a few words and a picture in the paper, but they were the only things necessary to break my heart.

\- _**“Have you seen this wizard?”**_ \-- The photograph in front of me showed a dirty, angry and malnourished face. It not only made me remember the worst day of my entire life, but also the better days when I wasn’t alone, when I was with the man of the photo. When I shared my life with Sirius Black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of gore in this chapter I guess? Sorry if there is any "spanglish" word, I can't control myself sometimes.

The memory of a heartbreaking scream came rushing through my mind. I've thought about that moment a thousand times, but I had never remembered it so vividly until that instant. Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt, even today. A cold shiver travelled through my body to the place where my heart once was. At that time it was only a black hole that swallowed every feeling, empathy and happiness. It was as if a Dementor was doing its thing from the inside.

I remember it perfectly. It was a humid summer evening. The ambiance of the restaurant was magnificent and he… he was… he looked charming. He was wearing a black waistcoat with gold buttons, black trousers and a pair of charol shoes. He also wore a suit jacket, black like his hair. He also had a maroon shirt, like the wine we were drinking almost, that combined perfectly with his deep eyes, those that always found me in my own darkness. His wild and wavy hair, that one that I loved to touch was put up in a ponytail that framed his face perfectly, and allowed me to see his beard. I loved his beard and how it tickled when he kissed me, or when I kissed him…

I had always wanted to go to that restaurant. That Italian that we saw when we went for a walk for our third date after leaving Hogwarts. I always believed that he was going to propose that night. Sadly, I never got to know. 

He looked a bit nervous, maybe because we were in a muggle restaurant, so I decided to ask. 

"Sirius, hon… are you ok? You look… distant."

"No, it’s nothing, I’m fine… I’ll be right back!"

That’s the only thing he said. He grabbed his jacket and wand and went outside. Then I saw him: Peter Pettigrew… I also saw the instant in which Sirius grabbed his neck... and how afterwards Peter blew up… in a thousand pieces. The innocent muggles that were around them in the street started screaming, it was a massacre. All that I could see was red, and all that I could hear was Sirius’ maniacal laugh, almost desperate, until he saw me. The tears in my eyes didn’t lie, and then his expression turned somber, filled with guilt. 

"AMY! IT WASN’T ME! AMYYYYY!"

It felt like a nightmare. Everything was blurry, but I saw perfectly when some wizards took him away... and when they took me as well.

…

Even today... I don’t remember if it was minutes, hours or days… everything was black. I do remember how painful the interrogations were. With every tear that fell from my eyes, they looked as if they wanted more, it was never enough. I told them nothing, I knew nothing, but they ignored me, they just wanted to hear lies, I gave them none. 

I also don't remember when this was: someone came in. The room was dark and I couldn't identify the stranger, even though deep down I knew who it was. 

"Dear… Are you ok?"

"Professor Dumbledore?" I couldn’t see him right, but I knew it was him. 

"Good afternoon, Miss Holmes. How are you feeling?"

"Afternoon huh? Tired I suppose… Where am I professor?" My eyes started to distinguish Dumbledore’s shape in the darkness: the white hair and the long beard… his kind eyes… Nonetheless, I promised myself that I didn’t want him to see me suffering because that could make him feel guilty... I didn’t want that either. 

"In a cell, in the Ministry of Magic, a place from which I’m going to get you out, right now."

"Professor… what about Sirius?" His image had floated beside me during all the interrogations. His fake whispers gave me the strength to keep going when I thought it was not even possible.

"He is going to be taken to Azkaban… life sentence… I’m so sorry…"

He was gone? Forever? It could not be… That meant that he was truly guilty… That couldn't be either. I had spent ten years of my life with a murderer? He was not like that… He was a dork and sometimes quite irritating, but never cruel, never a murderer…

"Amelia?"

"I… I don’t understand.-- I said nothing else, I never fully understood."

After that, Dumbledore gave me a position in Hogwarts and I lived there since… twelve long years. 

…

"Amy! Can you hear me? Amy!?"

"Severus? -- I finally said something, but it felt as if my throat was bleeding. It hurted everytime I breathed. Did the little bit of heart that was left in me break?"

"Are you ok?"

"I have to talk to him… I have to tell Remus. -- Every word that came out of my mouth choked me, but the nod that Severus gave me told me that he understood." 

He grabbed my arm and passed it around his head, helping me to balance my weight. All the students were looking at us, I felt stupid.

When we arrived to Remus’ office, he received us with a smile that quickly turned into preoccupation. The scars in his face always made him look interesting and mysterious, but at that moment they looked painful. His light brown hair, almost gold, started to show a few white hairs… time goes by so fast. I always felt safe with Remus, he was like a brother to me, but right at that moment nothing could make me feel safe. 

"You knew?... All of you… knew… and didn’t said anything to me?" I couldn’t bear it, the treason, it was too much. 

"Amy," said Remus "I’m so sorry! I… I trusted Dumbledore… He said that it was going to be the best for you…"

"Dumbledore… of course." I felt disappointed at everyone, but mostly at myself for not have seen it before. 

"Amy…" Remus looked sadder with every word he said. Of course, Sirius was his friend too, they were inseparable. Alongside James and Peter, they used to call themselves The Marauders.

"I don’t trust you Lupin…" I almost forgot that Severus was there too. "But we must be careful now because Black has two objectives now in this school: Amelia and Mister Potter."


	3. Chapter 3

"Harry…" I almost forgot about him: Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Sirius’ godson… his own family. Everybody said that Sirius wanted to kill Harry. Me? I wasn’t sure about that. 

"Amy? Is everything ok?" Remus was pale and his eyes looked humid, as if he was about to cry. In a second, the warmth from Remus’ chimney caught to me and returned me to the real world. 

"No… I’m not ok, and I know that you aren’t either… but I have to… we have to be strong Remus… we have to protect Hogwarts, we have to protect Harry. Help me to protect him." I started to feel the salty taste of my tears on my lips. I needed to cry, I needed to protect Harry, it was the only thing that reminded me of them...

Snape’s look was like an open book. He knew why, he knew better than anyone. 

"Now it’s not the moment to discuss this, we have lessons to teach." Snape commanded, as we were their students, even though I heard in his voice that he was absent. My previous comment got all his memories back… painful memories.

I remembered that I had a life, a life apart from Sirius. I was a teacher for Merlin’s sake! I should look forward to the future… even if it was just to the immediate one.

"It’s settled then, let’s carry on, for them." Just thinking about them gave me strength. 

"Let’s go!" Remus and I shouted at the same time, and we started laughing afterwards. 

"Lupin, remember to drink your potion or I will have to substitute you again, and I'm sure that you don't want that." 

"Don’t get your hopes up Severus, I remember it perfectly." The look on Lupin’s face now was of respect, but also of resentment. Severus imitated Lupin’s face: it became a furious fight in which both of them could see in each other’s soul… and I was in the middle of that fight, so I decided to leave. 

The stairs seemed endless, but I finally arrived to the school hall. My class was situated in one of the closest towers to the astronomy one. I’ve always loved the landscape. (I always thought that I should have been a Ravenclaw, instead of a Gryffindor.)

The class turned out quite good, with the exception of the fact that Harry was there. While everybody was reading I just looked at him. The resemblance with his parents was incredible. Then, Harry looked back and by just a second I thought that he knew everything about me: my pains and my memories... with Sirius, but he clearly didn’t. Class was over and Hermione came by to ask a few questions abot the lesson. I loved that little girl, she reminded me so much of myself. However, she looked kind of distracted (everyone did that day). 

"Hermione, what’s the matter?"

"Oh, nothing, so sorry. I’m just a bit nervous about the Dementors." Each time they were mentioned a question came to my mind. What if the Demetors had taken every single memory of us? Did Sirius forget about me? Was he looking for revenge? To end what he started when he killed Peter?

"Professor Holmes? Are you alright? You look pale, do you need me to accompany you to the infirmary?" A threat of sweat fell from my forehead. I felt so weak, everything became so blurry…

"Yes, thank you Hermione, I think I need that…" Again my chest hurted, I was choking… I needed air... 

Just before we arrived to the infirmary, going up the stairs, there was a little window. It was so small that light barely could enter. Nonetheless, it was big enough to see something in the distance, and also to feel a little breeze. What I saw there froze me once again on my spot, it even made the pain that I was feeling worse. A pair of golden eyes were hidden in the shadows of the forest. Deep inside of me, I knew it, but I said nothing. It looked at me and I looked at it, as if it was a beast, a monster. Maybe it was, probably it was. My breathing accelerated and I could only hear a constant ring. Then, once again, everything turned black. 


	4. Chapter 4

"GRYFFINDOR!

"Amy, you are a Gryffindor too!"

"You are not going to get rid of me so easily Lily."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

_**“ A Black in Gryffindor?!”** _

…

"Hello…" said a black haired kid.

"Hi! My name is Amelia Holmes and this is my friend, Lily Evans." I responded. 

"Nice to meet you…" He said nothing else, as if his presence was enough to identify him.

"And your name is? When somebody says their name the polite thing to do is to introduce yourself too." He looked surprised, as if nobody had ever trouble to know who he was. 

"Sirius… Sirius Black."

"It’s a pleasure to meet you Sirius." I was smiling, I didn’t know why.

…

"Professor Holmes!"

"Harry? Ron? Hermione? What happened?"

"We were going up and you fainted. I felt as if my happiness was disappearing, just as when we found professor Lupin for the first time on the train."

"Certainly." I saw Lupin approaching from the Infirmary door, he looked very charming and I flushed. "Here, this will help." He offered me a bar of my favourite chocolate, he was always taking care of me. 

"Thank you, Remus." As I took the chocolate our fingers touched and I saw him flush just a bit as well. 

"Could you leave us for a second?" Remus said, more as an order than a question. 

As the three students left the room Harry looked at me for a last time. He looked worried. I never thought that he cared about me, maybe he also thought that about me, but I cared a lot. I smiled, trying to say that everything was going to be alright, even though I doubted it.

"Feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you, again." I chuckled because it seemed as if all I could ever say to him was “thank you”.

"What happened?" 

"I don’t really know. Hermione said that we were attacked by a Dementor. However, what I felt before that, it was not a Dementor. I think it was attacked to us by something else…"

"I know about the first one. I did conjure a Patronus. About the other thing, I have no idea…" He knew perfectly, I could tell by his eyes, he was such a bad liar. He had never been able to fool me, not even when we were kids. I wanted him to tell me that my sight wasn’t fooling me.

"Once again you've saved my life, but I’m sure that there was something else. I couldn’t see it well and the shape wasn’t human, but the eyes, even though they were gold, they looked human..." I needed proof first of all. I could not alarm everyone just because a dizzying vision. After the attack on the Fat Lady a few weeks back, word started to spread about Sirius being inside the castle. Dumbledore, trying to project a sense of security, gave more authority to the Dementors (and no one could blame him about it).

"It’s ok, don’t worry about it…" Suddenly, we heard the rushed steps of someone. 

"Amelia? Oh! What happened? Are you ok?" Severus looked red due to the effort of running up the stairs. It was obvious that he didn’t exercised much.

"Severus! I do, I think I do, more or less." He was sweating and in his voice there was a hint of worry. I felt bad for making him feel that way. "I’m fine, don’t you worry... "

Severus grabbed my hand. It was sweaty but I was glad I could still feel something. I couldn’t help it anymore and I started crying… and he hugged me. On the other side of the bed I saw Lupin, standing, looking at me with that look that he always put when something was wrong. However, he smiled. A smile was such a rare treat from him, but it suited him. I knew that he did it to comfort me, that he was fake, but it did achieve its purpose for a little bit. Severus wasn’t letting me go, I didn’t want it either, I felt safer. Nonetheless, everything turned out weird a few minutes later.

_**1 month later** _

The Holidays were coming at a very quick pace. The Great Hall was already decorated and we were all getting ready for the big Christmas party, to which only the students who stayed during them could enjoy. That year they were less than usual. Harry stayed every year and I was very worried about him doing so, he couldn’t even go to Hogsmeade. However, a few days prior to the big party, I saw him quite angry. 

"Harry, is there anything troubling you?"

"No… I’m fine." 

"You are an even worst liar than your mother, and that’s saying something…"

"Wait… Did you know my mum?" There was a spark in his eyes, I could even see Lily. 

"And your father too, yes." 

"And professor Lupin?"

"Of course. We were all very good friends. Lupin and I still are." Harry looked down and I lost Lily’s presence. 

He did also mention my parents… and all their group of friends, but… I’ve seen someone I know it’s dead. -- He looked at me again, Lily was indeed gone, now there was just worry.-- I’m sure you knew him too, maybe you can help me.

"Dead?" At that instant I knew that Harry wasn’t referring to Sirius, I had no clue. "Whom did you see Harry?"

"It wasn’t exactly on person though, I saw it on a map…" It was quite obvious then. 

"... **The Marauder’s Map**..."

"That one, yeah!"

"Your father created it, with help of course… -- I couldn’t tell him that I participated on its creation as well, not yet." Who was it Harry?

"I saw Peter Pettigrew." Peter? Alive? I couldn’t believe it. I saw him… explode, quite literally. 

"Do you have the map on you now?"

"No, professor Lupin took it from me." 

"Ok, thank you Harry. I will meditate on what you just said. In the meantime, if you need to talk, I’m all ears." I said it sincerely, but at that moment I was focused on something else. 

"Thank you professor."

  
I saw Harry going away, but I could only think about talking to Remus. However, that was not the most appropriate moment. Lupin had missed another one of his classes and even worse… that night there was going to be a full moon. 


	5. Chapter 5

The night was beginning to haunt us and I began to think that my conversation with Remus should wait. However, I decided to stay confident. 

Hogwarts had never looked so big. The stone wall were darker and larger. The snow covered the little light that was entering… and it was almost Christmas. 

The spiral stairs always made me lose my patience, and I suddenly fell backwards. 

“Professor Holmes, dear, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok Professor McGonagall, it was my fault, I was looking.”

“Is there a problem, dear?” Her face denoted worry, as well as everybody else’s. I was tired of being pitied by everyone.

“It’s nothing Minerva… sorry, I’m running late.”

“If you wanted to talk to Professor Lupin, I’m afraid it’s too late…” Just as I thought, dammit! It had started and I our conversation was postponed. After all, he did forget to drink the potion. I heard a howl which meant that the transformation was complete, Lupin was already out of the castle. 

“Sorry dear, but I must go.” I was lost on my own head. McGonagall was left and I decided to stay seated for a bit, alone, in the middle of the stairs, dark and cold. I began to think about what I was going to tell Remus, or what was I going to ask him rather, I needed to clarify all that Peter business. 

**1 week later.**

It was Christmas Eve and I was feeling happier than usual. I had spoken to Lupin a couple days ago and we had solved nothing. We had more doubts, if that was possible. I told him what I saw, and he told me about the map and Peter, something that seemed to be confusing for both of us. We were determined to find the truth, but no one else should know about this, not even Dumbledore. Since the attack on the portrait of The Fat Lady I started to feel watched, as if the golden eyes I saw on the woods has never left me. I shouldn’t think about that on Christmas Eve.

Night had fallen and everything looked absolutely beautiful. For such a special dinner I decided to wear a long black gown, very sparkly and with my matching cape. With that I wore a pair of high heels, with small gold details all over my body, like the necklace… That necklace that I hadn’t wear in such a long time. It was simple, gold and with a dog paw charm. I also put my hair on a bun and did a very simple makeup with a red lip to give it some colour. I just needed my wand and I was ready to go.

The Great Hall looked very cozy: every chimney was lit and the shadows of the Christmas trees touched the fake starry sky. The tables were full of delicious and festive food and every kid who had stayed looked very happy. Without doubting it, not even a second, I took the seat between Remus and Severus. I noticed that something was wrong. Severus said nothing, he didn’t even looked at me, I didn’t know what to do so I just asked.

“I’m so glad to see you both! What’s the matter Severus? You look off…”

“Amelia, why didn’t you tell me?” He said, without looking at me.

“What are you tal-?”

“About Black.” I almost couldn’t hear him, but I understood.

“Have you been spying me?!”

“...Amelia”

“How could you?!” Another treason, another disappointment.

“Don’t change topics and try to blame me! You saw him, didn't you? Are you certain?”

“...”

“Dear Merlin! Amy!”

“I don’t even know myself! It might have been a squirrel for all we know! Now please, leave me alone, I don’t want to know anything about someone who spies his own friends…” I had to leave. It seemed like Snape had not heard about Peter or the map, but I wasn’t sure. I also knew that what I had told him had hurt him, not assuring him about what I saw, the uncertainty that maybe I was protecting Sirius. He deserved it. 

I went back to my room, quite angry. Just as I entered I dropped on my bed and fell asleep. I couldn’t stop myself of dreaming about Sirius, of thinking about him. My suspicions had grown darker since Harry told me about Peter. I was starting to believe that Sirius was innocent. I had suspected it since a very long time, but it was a thought that was buried very deep on my mind. Maybe now he was looking for revenge, maybe not against Harry… Maybe my gut was right, maybe he was innocent, maybe he didn’t told anyone about James and Lily. While thinking about the idea of innocence, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the first thing I felt was a very strong and sweet scent. My eyes went straight to a red rose on my table, and to the open window next to it.


End file.
